Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A Fence for Pete's sake!?

Another posting that isn't really in the intended art vein. Oh, well.

Friends have been transfered to a project on the fence between Texas and Mexico. I'm embarrassed! Is this our so elegant (not) version of the Berlin wall? I don't see that it serves anyone. People south of our border need work and money. We need laborers. These are our neighbors, former owners of much of our country. These are people!!! Why oh why do we want to keep them out?

There is a legitimate financial concern that people who work here and live here and don't pay taxes put an unfair burden on those who do pay taxes. So, charge them taxes. Sign them up to work here on a time-boxed and authorized basis and charge income tax. They already pay sales tax. Charge the employer, just like for citizens.

Where do we get the right to bar someone from a job over a political boundary? How can we let someone live in poverty a stone's throw from our doors? I don't get it. If someone from another country works here, make them pay taxes, if they break the law, deport them.

Yes, I'm in favor of different treatment for our neighbors than for other countries. Because they can walk here. They can work here and go home daily or periodically. Some are indeed seeking citizenship and should follow the rules and limits of all others. Many just want to work and go home. Yes, they send money home. So do others from other countries. They also spend money here.

Monday, August 11, 2008

More on open adoption

Wow! We've been so open about adoption and the boys having birth parents that sometimes I have a pang of jealousy. It's senseless and fleeting, but it is definitely there at times. Today we were looking at some flowers we planted amongst the huge weeds by the barn. They picked some for me as always and some for their birth mother and birth father. They learned about him recently. I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying "they don't have anything to do with you". But I think it is healthy and they will grow up with a confidence about adoption. I truly do intend to introduce them someday.

The boys don't understand that the bps never saw them. They think they remember a life with them. They talk about things their bm gave them or fed them. Someday they will know all, but for now, I let them have the memories. It does sting me some.

I'm the real mother, I'm the real mother, I'm the real mother......

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

In Favor of Open Adoption

This is off topic for this blog, but I am inspired to add it. Adoption is on my mind because I have friends who are praying for a child to adopt. Our children are adopted (as infants) and we have an open adoption. Here's why I am in favor of open adoptions:

It gave me confidence I was not leaving a heart broken young woman behind, I know she knew what she was doing and felt it was intended and best.

I have an image and memory of her to love. Birth mothers give the greatest gift of life.

I have pictures to show my children at the right time.

I feel the birth parents are confident of their choice because they got to know us.

Someday we can comfortably get back together to let each party know the other. I want to do this at the right time - middle school, perhaps.

Surprisingly to me, my sons began asking "where did I come from" questions at just over 4. At nearly 5, they already know they are adopted, have a birth mother, that they "came from her tummy", and will meet her someday.

I believe having an open adoption helped me be relaxed and natural about answering their questions. We don't have secrets to keep.

If you are considering giving a child in adoption, or adopting, please consider open adoption. Birth mothers, you are givers of life in the largest way. Thank you for sacrificing for your child and other parents.